i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
