some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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