it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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