Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Randomize
