why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
