Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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