Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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