he puts the penis in happiness.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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