I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
