I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
sex in a hospital.. check
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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