i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
