Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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