I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
