its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
