My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
