She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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