I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
