he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
