Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
