NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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