oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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