I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
