What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
