her vagine was all disorganized.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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