why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
