im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
