come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
