Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
