i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
