he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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