lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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