HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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