HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
