at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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