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• (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how bad I want you right now?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is that a hint?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.

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• (831): View more from California

  He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  69'd by candlelight when the power went out.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????

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• (206): View more from Washington

  RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.

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