just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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