jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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