it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
