whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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