Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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