Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
