when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
