Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
