how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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