"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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