Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
