who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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