question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My dick has a subreddit
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
