stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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