the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
