Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
