Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
