Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We left the knife in your bed.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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